Must My Wannabe Content Creator Pal Cease Exploiting Me for Content?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?